well here we are again.. back to the same ol shit again hehe.. hope you all enjoy!
okay, lets try to catch up to where we left off.. hmm... the haunted school was our last adventure... ok... so boggs, free, and that one kid, and me got back to base safe and sound... and Boggs came and slept in my room with me... ugh.. alright, let me get one thing straight... Boggs and I never did actually "have sex"... I wonder why now... because he is totally adorable... and he has a good body... good personality... ugh haha I am cursed to walk a miserable lonely life lemme tell ya! haha ((hes married now, and I would love nothing more than to just steal him away for one night)) thats the whole, "want what you cant have thing" yeah, we all do it!! hehe... okay, so there boggs and me are laying there, and we get to talking about kids, and life after the USMC... well, I myself at that point, had decided I really did want kids... I'm not sure why... loneliness i suppose... haha so that all happened, and within the next couple weeks, we were scheduled to go out to our friend Dejean's house...
Dejean... a typical black name if you ask me... but holy god in heaven!! haha this kid was fucking hilarious!!! picture a short, wide, lil haitian with hilarious stories and an even funnier vocabulary bahaha!! he would walk past me in formation and say DAAAAAMN look at them maan arms!! MM!! big as hellllll! hahaha (in case you didnt notice, I've always had weird big arms... not fat, or muscular... just big... lol) alright so, Hernandez, Boggs, and our friend Justin decided to go out to Dejeans for a little get together... I was wearing a sun dress and feelin hot.... cuz I am!! BAAAM! haha.. anyway... so here we all are... playing xbox... bored as hell... drinkin beers... and I get the idea... "lets play some fuckin PRESIDENTS N ASSHOLES" hehe that game... will fuck anyone up... i dont care who you are!... so off we went, and Hernandez and I were freakishly good at this game!! possibly because we were severe alcoholics... but you paint the picture. I dont care hehe... well, 9 beers later, I am feeling good and loosened up... so we all go out for a smoke... (I myself, went out for a dip) and Justin follows me outside... hes all tryin to hit it.., and be all sly about it... ugh.. seriously... if I havent already kind of given you a hint, that I wanted to fuck... I DONT. ok... moving on... we move on back inside and sit down, Dejean says... "oh guys by the way... If you see something small and hairy running around... dont worry... its a ferret"... were all looking at eachother like "wtf did this foold just say"" hahaha this mother fucker lets a nasty smelly ass ferret run around in his house?! bahaha well, Dejean told us, " It was my roommates... and he escaped... he just kind of runs around everywhere... I think he's dead though... havent seen him in a while... last time I did see him, he was in my exhaust pipe in the closet.... his lil nose was all pokin out.,awwwww" hahaha at this time I am just totally freaking out that there is some living nasty hairy thing running around in the house free reighn to everything lol GREAT!! at some point in time... this lil fucker is going to A: run up my leg and touch my chachoo or B: scare the shit out of me when I get the munchies later and open a cupboard hahaha... either way... I was not excited.. hahaha
So the varment radar was on high, and we all decided it was time to bust into some tequilla.. his neighbors were like 70, and were moving out of there house, and had some REALLY old tequilla... they gave it to Dejean... so he is pouring everyone shots and were all sitting out by the bonfire... I'm chillin talking to Hernandez... when all of a sudden out of the gloomy darkness comes this freaky ass creepy black small dog!!!!!!! I FLIPPED!!! and so did Hernandez when we realized how dirty and wet he was hahaha... but as drunk as I was I said HERNANDEZ!!... dont be mean to him.... what if its JESUS?! hes testing us... hahahaha so in an effort to please "jesus" we were extremely nice to the small, hairy, wet, smelly dog hahaha he kept hangin around, and hernandez and I were like... ooohh Jesus... we love you hahahaha we fed him hot dogs... and he disappeard...we were confident something good would happen hahaha pleasin jesus....
Alright so I get up and go inside to see Dejean with a big plate of shots.... (apparently Dejean had all the fixins your average bar would ... platters, millions of shot glasses, margarita salt, .... it was... impressive)... So i say to him... Dejean... remember, I told you I CANNOT have tequilla right?? (( for a little fun fact... when I was 13 years old, an ex boyfriend of mine handed me a full bottle of JOSE... and said.... if you are a true STICKNEY.... you will chug this entire bottle.... and walk down to the Smithland street dance, and slow dance with someone .. if you can walk after that... your a stickney.... long story short... I did it... I danced... fell... cops were there... and my mom tried to make me walk home which was 2 blocks.... I got lost, almost got raped... it was bad.. hahaha no more straight tequilla!) alright so apparently Dejean remembered I couldnt have it... so he said "yeah sarah, this side is disorono... this side is tequilla... us guys will drink these, and you drink those.. " I was happy with that answer... haha so I grabbed two shots... slammed em and said "DAMN I love disorono!! that shit is AMAZING!" so I had three more... and within an hour... I was just REALLY wanting to fuck... like bad... like I was getting paid Jenna Jamesons salary n time was runnin low hahaha so Dejean says "Sarah!!!! its a topless party!!! why the hell dont you have your top off!?" i looked at him and said... ...... "WELL SHIT!!! NO ONE FUCKIN TOLD ME THAT!!!"... took my dress top right on down, and walked around the rest of the night...... noooo top..... yep... fucking great hahaha.../// lets just let everyone in on a little secret... Dejean had pulled a fast one.... my shots were PATRON... OLD PATRON... so it was absolutley amazing tasting.... and I would gladly drink an entire bottle... but id be naked, and possibly pregnant.... so lets not do that hahahaha//// alright... so here we were all of us just sitting around playing card games... my boobs out... hahaha ...
Boggs says to me... come outside with me real quick... i wanna talk... so out we went... and he starts talking... im assuming it was something about loving me.... or liking me... idk i was jus doing that weird drunk thing that girls do when they're horny.. ya know... they hang on to something.... put there faces kinda low and glance up at you with theyre smeared makeup... thinking they're still slightly sexy... and thhey kinda make weird sounds like... mmhmmm.. *giggle*... yeah... and then eventually will lie and say they love you back... jus so you'll shut up.... okay... so in the middle of my drunken dance.... a car goes flying past Dejeans... and we hear a huge CRAAAASH!!!... and then two smaller crashes after that... so i looked right at boggs and said "omg did you fucking hear that!"... I immediatley took off running right towards the Trans Am and then thought... okay... awesome... lets drive drunk with our boobs out, and no shoes on... NOPE!... so I put my boobs away and started running down the highway towards the sound... and eventually Justin and I got to the accident... there was a girl screaming BLOODY FUCKING MURDER... like I have literally gone through boot camp... where all they do is scream and yell..... and I have yet to hear anyone yell like she was.... she was screaming "He grabbed the wheel!!!!! he fucking did it !!!! he grabbed the wheel!!!!!"... and this bitch was covered head to toe in blood... like one of those bad movies... it was HORRIBLE... and of course, were trying to calm her down...and all she wants to do is hug me... in my yellow sundress.... which was then ruined... thank you crazy drunk driving lady... you owe me a 40.00 victoria secret dress... dick.... anyway, so this bitch is going ape shit... and her boyfriend is yelling back at her that she's crazy and hes going to kill her... omg... there was blood... and glass... and car... haha it was terrible... and finally the cops showed up... and she was telling them taht she only wanted to talk to me because I was a femal and I knew what it was like....
uh, yeah bitch, thanks I sure do know what its like.. i know what its like to get cunt-blocked by a crazy drunk driving looney lady... ugh.... anyway, they lived...
Boggs and I returned to the house, only to find that there is nowhere to sleep.... no blankets... and unless you wanna get attacked by a zombie-crazy-rabid-hidden ferret... the trans am was the best bet!!... so out we went... to the car... and by the time I laid my seat back in that nice comfy flat position... the sun was starting to come up... FUUUUCCCKK.... ugh... well, we ended up talkin for a while... about what, who knows... but I bet I broke bogg's heart... which I tend to do alot... haha..woke up around 8am the next morning, and basically started the car, and headed for home... epic night lol.
all respect to my main man jesus... the dog..... and a shout out to patron... you sneaky bastard hahaha.. oh, and one big shout out to my boobs before pregnancy... --yeah, your bigger now..... but i sure do miss my perky lil c cups.. hahahahaha
